In today’s swipe-right society, it’s no surprise that matchmaking and coaching have become more popular, and more populated than ever. Scroll through Instagram or TikTok and you’ll see a new ‘love coach’ or ‘matchmaker’ emerging almost daily. Some of them have stories to tell, many have heartbreaks to heal, and quite a few have started because of their own unmet needs.
But here’s the truth: not all matchmaking or coaching is the same. And if you’re trusting someone to help you with something as personal and life-shaping as love, dating, or self-growth, you need to know who’s genuinely in it for you, and who’s just in it for themselves.
Why So Many “Experts” Are Popping Up
The love industry, like wellness or fitness, attracts people who’ve had a moment. A breakup. A breakthrough. A bold reinvention. And often, these moments spark a desire to help others. It’s not inherently a bad thing. Some brilliant professionals have emerged from personal pain. But the difference lies in how they translate their experience into your journey.
Many jump into matchmaking or coaching as a passion project. They genuinely want to make a difference. But without proper training, supervision, business structure or ethical practice, passion alone doesn’t cut it. It can actually do more harm than good—because it becomes about them, not you.
The Hallmarks of a Professional
Having worked in this field for three decades, I’ve seen it all—good, bad, and “please stop calling that coaching.” True professionals work from a different foundation. They’re not here because they want to be a guru or saviour. They’re here because they’ve trained, invested, worked in the trenches, and hold a deep respect for the process.
So how can you spot the ones who truly have your best interest at heart?
1. They Have Credentials and Credibility
It’s not about how many followers they have, it’s about how many lives they’ve changed in meaningful ways. Look for those trained or accredited by established organisations, not just self-appointed titles. Have they worked with real clients, been part of professional bodies, or mentored by experts?
A solid track record matters more than flashy reels.
2. They Don’t Sell Fairy Tales
If someone promises you “the one” in 30 days or says “manifest your soulmate without doing any work,” run. Professionals offer hope—but with honesty. They’ll guide you through the reality of love, not a romantic fantasy.
Real growth requires reflection, effort, and sometimes uncomfortable truths. A good coach or matchmaker doesn’t avoid that—they walk through it with you.
3. They Listen More Than They Talk
Pay attention to how much space they give you. If they’re spending the session telling you about their journey, their heartbreak, their opinions, you’re in the wrong room. A professional meets you where you’re at, with tailored support, not recycled anecdotes.
4. They Prioritise Fit, Not Just Fees
You should never feel “sold to.” A quality matchmaker or coach will assess if you are the right fit for them, just as much as the other way around. They won’t push you into a programme or package just because you’ve shown interest.
It’s not about getting clients in the door, it’s about helping the right clients move forward.
5. They Encourage Empowerment, Not Dependency
This is a big one. Coaching and matchmaking should never make you feel like you need someone to “fix” your life. The best professionals give you tools to stand strong on your own. They’re not trying to keep you tied to them, they’re helping you outgrow them.
So What Should You Look For?
Ask the hard questions:
- Who trained you?
- How do you tailor your services?
- Can I speak to past clients or see testimonials?
- What does success look like in your work?
- How do you stay accountable to ethical practices?
A professional will welcome those questions. An amateur will either avoid them, deflect, or get defensive.
You Deserve More Than Guesswork
Your love life, healing, or growth isn’t a playground for someone else’s therapy. And it’s not a hobby project for a well-meaning stranger. It’s too important for that.
Whether you’re working with a matchmaker, dating coach, or life coach, invest in someone who’s invested in you. Someone who’s done the inner and outer work. Someone who won’t project their journey onto yours.
Because the right guide won’t just help you find love or clarity—they’ll help you become the kind of person who never settles for less again.
If you’re looking for expert, ethical guidance and want someone who sees you rather than sells to you, I’d be honoured to speak with you. I’ve spent the last 30 years helping people navigate love, life and everything in between. If that’s the kind of support you’re ready for, get in touch via info@relationshipretreats.co.
Let’s raise the standard and your expectations.
